i can't believe i had my finger in that
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
