I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
