if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
