I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
