at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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