Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She told me I should be a condom model.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
