Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
