What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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