worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
