the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
