I met the friendliest cop last night
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
