C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
