I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
