I accidentally burped into my bong.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
