I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You ruined the universe
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
