i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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