theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
