too bad you live with your parents still
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sobbing to NWA
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
