Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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