Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
