Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
