those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
