Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
