We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
