two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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