He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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