so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
