A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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