someone threw a dead crab at me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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