threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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