you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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