you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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