I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Alive.
So much puke
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
