I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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