Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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