I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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