He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize