it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
