we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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