okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
