I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
