I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
