So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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