I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
