Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
