He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
