We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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