We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
