Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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