I just pynch a tree in the face
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think your dad took our porno
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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