I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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