WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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