One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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