the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
