the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
