i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
