i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
