I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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