Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
