He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
