Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
